The challenges of moving to a foreign land is one that is appreciated by many in Canada with immigration marking over 80% of Canada’s population growth. Ethnocultural diversity is on a continual rise. Among the many ethnic groups Asians make up for 7 of the top 10 countries of immigrants in recent years.
There are a variety of issues encountered by Asian after immigrating, including financial, social, cultural, biological, and psychological. Shifts within the family dynamics and emotional and mental issues often arise. Acculturation develops at different rates between individuals and it is not uncommon for Asian children, teens, and young adults to acculturate at a faster rate than their parents or familial guardians. Higher exposure to Western systems and peers increases the rate at which younger individuals assimilate to the dominant culture’s ideals. This can increase the tension within the family unit as parents struggle to keep up and feel that their children may be losing their cultural heritage.
Compared to collectivistic cultures, Western countries typically prioritize the strength in individual’s thoughts and opinions. These individualistic ideals can engender conflict within Asian families when the acculturating child starts to voice their own opinions instead of deferring the decision making privilege to the elders, which can be interpreted as a sign of disrespect. Among these families, there is often less interest placed on adolescents’ aspirations as the collectivist orientation expects them to do right by the family in assistance, support, and respect. It is not uncommon for Asian students to feel torn between the career path they wish to pursue and the type of career their parents may have envisioned for them. This not only instigates crisis in personal identity but also of culture identity as well, as this internal conflict can lead to worry that they may be abandoning their cultural heritage if they chose to disobey the wishes of their family.
Is it wrong for Asian parents to expect such things from their children? To expect their child to bring honour to the family? Certainly not. However, as children acculturate quickly to a new environment it is important for parents to consider making certain adjustments to their parenting strategies so as to minimize unwanted conflict within the family. Communication is key. Sometimes when we care for our loved ones and that “care” isn’t properly communicated it can lead to misunderstanding and the misinterpretation. Counselling is available to help Asian parents explore ways in which there can be adjustments to their parenting styles all the while maintaining the cultural traditions that are incredibly important.
Parents love their children and want the best for them. For Asian adolescents and perhaps students who are stressed under the pressure of their family in particular, it is always important to keep this mind. There is no fault in wanting to express who you are and the kind of person you want to be, but to proceed gently and to be sensitive, and at times where you don’t feel like this is possible, reach out to your friends, mental health helpers, and those who care about you. Take some time for yourself, and most importantly, be kind.
Written by Tien Yueh
